As adults we talk about being stressed, and we Does it seem like your household has been in constant chaos ever since you had children? Do you feel like your parenting techniques just aren’t cutting it?
According to Kris McPhail, one of the Curriculum Specialists from Ebenezer Child Care Centers, with locations on Milwaukee’s south side, and in downtown Milwaukee, Oak Creek and West Allis, “You are not alone.
Parenting is a tough job, and many parents find themselves feeling the stress of parenthood and questioning their parenting techniques.”
“Purposeful, positive parenting isn’t easy. It requires patience, consistency and hard work, but the outcomes are well worth the effort.”
Here are some tips to make parenting more positive:
Have Realistic Expectations
Learn about typical child development. Know and understand your children’s abilities and limitations.
Plan Ahead to Set Your Children Up for
Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. Children can also come up with possible ideas.
Clearly State Your Expectations in Advance
Your children cannot read your mind. Let them know what you want them to do. Tell your children what to do, instead of what not to do. Children focus on the main words and ignore words such as “don’t” and “stop.”
Rather than rules, think of expectations.
Offer Limited and Reasonable Choices
Giving choices prevents power struggles. The choices given must be limited (start with two) and real.
Use “When…Then” Statements
These are simple instructions that tell your children what to do in order to earn the desired outcome. “When you wash your hands, then you may have your snack.”
Catch Your Children Being Good
Acknowledge and comment when your children are meeting expectations and doing what they should. Seek opportunities to give specific positive attention to the behaviors you want to see.
When your children push your buttons, don’t lose your patience. The more out of control your children become, the more self-control you need to show. You need to take care of yourself, so that you can stay calm and support your children’s return to appropriate behavior.
Use Neutral Times
Look for neutral times, “teachable moments,” before and after a problem. Help your children reflect. When something goes wrong, ask “What can you do differently next time?”
Ebenezer Child Care Centers is a not-for-profit, locally based agency committed to providing early childhood programs from the heart. The agency prides itself on being different from other child care providers in that it offers a home-like atmosphere; individualized, nurturing care; and a structured curriculum that is virtues-based for every child’s developmental stage.
Every Ebenezer Child Care Center focuses on all aspects of a child’s development: cognitive, physical, emotional, and social. In addition to providing quality care, the agency also offers other educational programming all aimed at helping parents. The agency has locations in on Milwaukee’s south side and in downtown Milwaukee, Oak Creek, and West Allis/Wauwatosa. The agency’s main office is located at 1496 South 29th Street, Milwaukee. For more information, please call 414.643.5070.
Resources: Preventing Behavior Problems through Positive Parenting, Linda Brault for Early Start Plus